10 Wonderful Lessons I Learned Through Divorce

One of my callings in life is to prevent as many divorces as possible. I truly believe that it is my having gone through a divorce that has given me the compassion and empathy to create programs like CHOOSE YOU, Not Divorce! that will result in saving many, many marriages. If you know someone who's thinking about divorce or if you're contemplating divorce, order CHOOSE You, Not Divorce and give yourself the greatest gift you ever possibly could: the ability to love and be loved unconditionally, now and always.

In the meantime, read the 10 Wonderful Lessons I learned through divorce. My hope is that you never have to learn them:)

Kassandra Vaughn, the ROI Coch

#1- You never fix a problem by condemning it

#2- Financial independence is the best choice while married and a required step once divorced; choose it early so you don't feel pressured to attain it later

#3- It takes 2 to make a marriage work but only one to watch it fall apart

#4- Your best strategy for filing for divorce is to marry the right person so you never have to

#5- To marry the right person the first time around, you have to be the right person BEFORE you meet them (we attract who we are; whole attracts whole; broken attracts broken)

#6- Love doesn't leave; the willingness to love is sent away

#7- Anyone who would rather control you than co-create with you isn't interested in a partnership; they've decided upon having a dictatorship

#8- Just because you get a divorce, it doesn't mean the relationship ends. There's no such thing as marriage amnesia.

#9- Regret, guilt, and shame have no place in relationships. All 3 require you to believe in a very big lie: that things should've gone or should go differently. The truth is that it's all perfect; everything happens for a reason

#10- Your ex-spouse has been and will always be one of your greatest life teachers. Respect and appreciate them for every opportunity you've been given to see exactly what you DON'T want.

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The holidays are coming! Believe it or not, September's ending, October will go by quickly and we'll be right in the middle of Thanksgiving and Christmas. With the holidays can come a sense of rush, panic, and stress. Dealing with family, gifts, parties, time, kids, all of it can make one very anxious. And, yet, that's a choice. This year, I want you to CHOOSE differently. To encourage that, I'm offering everyone a BONUS exclusive. If you sign up for our FREE weekly CHOOSE YOU! newsletter (you can enter your email address to the left of the screen), you'll receive an exclusive report that will help you choose peace and tranquility rather than rush and anxiety: The Power of YES. Learn how to eradicate stress, anxiety, and panic; move yourself into a place of peace no matter what the situation. Get the secret strategies that make 3 words your guide through family drama and financial strain.

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Kassandra Vaughn, the ROI Coach

Turn It Around

Are you waiting for a lucky "break"? The economy to get better? People to change? What are you waiting for? One of the greatest gifts of life comes in the fact that each of us has the power to change our own lives, each of us can live a joyous existence even if nothing in our current condition changes? "How is that possible?" you ask. The answer is one word: choose.

You choose how you wake up, how you go to work, how you see the world. Everyday, you wake up and make a choice as to whether you live in a friendly world where people, places and things line up to help you or a hostile world where people, places and things are always working against you. You choose.

Now most of us create unconsciously. We walk around pissed off, mad at the world, mad at our spouses, resentful, regretful, remorseful and then we wonder why life is "hard." It's hard because we see it as hard. It's tough because we create situations and circumstances that give us reason to be right. Aren't you tired of being right? Wouldn't you rather be happy?

It's time for you to stop waiting and to start being the best of who you are RIGHT NOW in this moment. You don't have any other moment to do it. Money won't fix this. Counseling won't change this. Other people acting different won't make it any better. You are the lock, the key, the door and the doorknob. You are it already and it's when you decide that this is a friendly, cooperative world where you prosper and feel joy, it's at that exact moment that your life will change and, yes, you will be able to CHOOSE YOU!

Do it now...

On the Verge of Divorce

Watch any of the powerful court scenes out of the classic divorce drama "Kramer v. Kramer." What do you notice? Two people who’d once been very much in love and very much committed to building a life together now sitting in a courtroom, in the ashes of their relationship, battling over the greatest gift they’d ever been given: their son.

How did they get here? What takes two people from love, respect, and passion to anger, disrespect, and apathy? Could anything have been done along the way to prevent this from ever even being a consideration?

A wise person once told me, “The key to a happy marriage is growing together and not growing apart.” With a 60% divorce rate, somehow, we, in this country, are not getting what that means. So how do you stay in a marriage when you feel disrespected, unloved, mistreated, trapped, hurt, and constantly filled with a sense of desperation to leave? What do you do when you live with someone who does nothing but criticize or complain? How do you move forward in a relationship when you’re growing and the other person isn’t? When do you say, “Enough is enough” and how do you walk away from something you promised you’d never leave?

The truth is if two people enter a marriage choosing themselves, honoring themselves, loving themselves, these same two people have the ability to fully and completely choose each other WITHOUT feeling like they are losing or sacrificing ANYTHING. It is when two people come together with the intention to “complete each other”, to fill in the gaps, to be someone they are not so the other person is happy that we wind up with a situation where people end up sacrificing themselves for the other person only to discover that no matter how much they give in or give up, it’s never enough.

You see, we like to win, men and women both and when one partner feels like no matter what they do, it’s never enough, there’s no winning and hence the relationship begins to die.

How do you stop the process once it starts?

Visit the Choose You, Not Divorce website at http://chooseyounotdivorce.blogspot.com and click on the PayPal link to order your copy of this amazing coaching series today!