What's On My Mind...

Saturday, March 21, 2010
The last few weeks have been intriguing. I've realized, in myself, patterns I thought were long broken. I see things now that have been fear-based that, for a time, I thought were logic grounded... and I'm ready and willing to change. I opened up Marianne Williamson's "Enchanted Love" to a random page and a prayer popped up. I'm going to hold onto this prayer for the next week or so. It fits in perfectly with the next CHOOSE YOU course I'll be teaching:

"Dear God, I don't wish to be a child anymore. I don't wish to be held back anymore. I don't wish to waste my life. Deliver me to new realms, repair me where I am broken, and ready my heart for everything. Thank you, God. Amen."
- Marianne Williamson, Enchanted Love

Sunday, February 15, 2009

What is a Consciously Loving Family?

What does family mean to you?
Is it a safe haven from the harshness of the world?
Is it a comfortable, peaceful place where unique individuals form a bond that allows them to be who they are, flaws and all, and be completely accepted?
Is it a place of joy, love, and caring where you can bring the problems in your life, unload them, and know that, even if they’re not fixed, you’ll be loved and treated with compassion so you can choose to find a solution to the problem?


Is your family a place of disunity, discord, and judgment?
Are you afraid to show your family who you really are for fear that they’ll judge you for it?
Do you feel like you’re living with strangers? That being estranged is easier than working out problems?
Do you have family members who’d rather control you and make you suffer than encourage you to live your dreams?
Do you cringe at the idea of family get-togethers, knowing that this Christmas will be just as drama-filled as the last?
Do you have a less than close relationship with your siblings?
Is there an internal family war going on and, somehow, you got caught in the middle?
Are there factions to your family (their side, his side, her side) and you stay away rather than be the messenger?
Is there criticism, judgment, or a constant “one-upping” going on to the point that family members care more about what you’ve gained or lost than how you’re doing in your life?
Is there bitterness, resentment, or unforgiveness that has been lingering for generations?

Which family are you living in?
Which family could you be living in if given half the chance?

That’s why my 2009 CHOOSE YOU! theme is “Healing Wounds, Rebuilding Family.” Too many of us are living in mediocre families, accepting so much less than the family unit is capable of and shrugging it off to being “dysfunctional.”

Dysfunctional is putting on two different color socks; it’s not cussing a family member out in the middle of a mall parking lot and not speaking to them for five years. That’s resentment, anger, and bitterness and until this type of negativity stops in our families, we will continue to see a world where children grow up mad, adults shake their heads in depression, and old people leave this world with most people never knowing they’d even been there.

Is that the kind of world you want to live in? I don’t and 2009 is dedicated to helping your family go beyond that grim, negative picture.

So what is a consciously loving family?

Notice I didn’t say “perfect” family. Let’s be real. There’s no such thing. Your family members are going to get on your nerves. They are going to say things and do things that come across, to you, as hurtful. They’re human.

What I’m talking about is a family unit that is committed to believing the best for all family members by first committing to each other’s innocence and potential, rather than their guilt and failures.

The conscious family has as its mantra “I attract only peace into my life.” The conscious family says, “I will look at you, no matter what you do, with eyes of love and forgiveness. There will be boundaries but this will not be your prison.”

The conscious family holds to the uplifting of each individual to that individual’s higher purpose without any belief that one person going up means another person won’t get there; there’s no scarcity in the conscious family.

Conscious families understand that our Source puts each person here to follow their own calling and that one person doing well is simply proof that everyone can do well in the life they’ve been called to live.

There’s no pettiness in the conscious family, no in-fighting, no backbiting, no one-upping. There’s no competition because everybody knows that the family unit’s thriving is based on EVERYONE living up to his or her potential.

So, at this point, you might be saying, “Whose family are you talking about? I haven’t met a single soul who has that?” My response is, “Good. Then you’ll be the first family to do it and watch others follow.”

Over the next 11 months, I’m going to take you on a journey, coaching you through the process of recreating your family from the ground up. These next 11 months will enlighten you. They will challenge you. Most of all, they will change you. And that’s my goal.

Until we build consciously loving families, we cannot expect a world that is consciously peaceful. I am beginning with you so that you have the tools you need to put the “us” back in family and where you take it after that, as with everything in life, is up to you!

Let’s begin!
The first article, "The Curse of Tolerance in Family", can be found at:
Kassandra Vaughn, CEO ROI Coaching
Think big, act small, love all the way through...